Famous garlic noodles at AnQi, Costa Mesa

Never mind about the multi-million dollar swanky decor. Never mind about the beautiful cougars that flock for lunch. Never mind about the rampant South Coast Plaza fashion shows that are known to take place down the main corridor of AnQi’s wide open, immensely high ceiling space. The bottom line on this place is, the food is very disappointing and small portioned for the price you will expect to pay, and it won’t take more than ONE BITE of their signature item – An’s Famous Garlic Noodles – to realize that you are sitting in beautifully clothed seat feeling drenched, because indeed, you have just been hosed :(

AnQi has been the subject of a lot of polarizing opinions and debates as of late, which really just adds to its allure. In one court, you have people who absolutely adore the beautifully architectured space and love relishing in the diminutively pre-portioned Asiatique-inspired fare such as the famed Garlic Noodles, and in the other court, you have people who hate the place, saying the food stinks and is in no way representative of the An Family’s original “Thanh Long” restaurant (in SF) and even makes their other, highly overrated restaurant in Beverly Hills – “Crustacean” – look pretty darn good. For me, after one ill-fated happy hour session this past January, I still didn’t know what to think (after all, the drink specials were passable, which is frankly all happy hour needs to be on most nights of the week). But after a few friends of mine reported back that their full fledged, molecular gastronomized multi-course meal hosted by AnQi was indeed, a true Yelper’s “5 stars”, I decided to do my due diligence and see again for myself. So I grabbed a friend to have lunch over there at a later date and time, and unannounced so we could be as fastidious as we wanted to be. You see, I sometimes I like pretending that I’m Michael Bauer on my off days.  Sneaky sneaky.

And at one bite of the signature house special “An Famous Garlic Noodles” that everyone and their mother had been reveling in, I knew immediately that this allure was all a hoax – almost like Anchorman’s Syndrome in some respect.  But the mere existence of it all made me immediately applaud AnQi for their shrewd marketing skills more than anything, as these famous noodles are evidently so famous that they are prepared, in a secret kitchen, under lock and key – the password to get in to the kitchen and the recipe is known only to family members and restaurant employees with 10+ years of servitude.  Marketing.  It’s really something, ain’t it?

But back to me eating the noodles.  Admittedly, the flavor is really pretty interesting, and definitely got us talking — sure, you can taste the intense garlic flavor, and about a zillion other spices you can’t quite put your finger on (which may or may not include 5-spice powder, to my naive little tongue).  The sugar is overwhelming, as is the presupposed amount of MSG, evidenced by the almost immediate inclination to grab a tall glass of water.  But wait, there’s more.

A quick google search pulls up an article that suggests that the An Family attempted to trademark the ACTUAL TERM “Garlic Noodles”, which is pretty darn presumptuous on their part, considering that they’re not an unusual thing.  In fact, I wish I hadn’t done this further research, because it made me even more angry — trying to trademark something that a lot of restaurants do is one thing.  But trying to trademark something that is already fairly common, where your version is, well, NOT GOOD is another — the diminutive mound of carbohydrates was so texturally displeasing that I just couldn’t swallow much.  Gummy, sticky and very mushy, these noodles tasted like they’d been prepared the week prior, where not even those measly sprigs of scallions could make a difference.  And this wasn’t the FIRST time this had happened.  I was extremely confused and disappointed about this same texture on my FIRST visit, so much, that it took this particular SECOND visit back to confirm what I already knew!!!

I guess something that famous is bound to have some polarizing effects. In fact, Chef Duff Goldman of the Food Network’s Ace of Cakes names the garlic noodles (note: the same recipe is served at Crustacean) one of the best things he ever ate. Well, good for him. I guess that’s why they don’t call him the Ace of Noodles. Okay, that was a bad joke.

Note: I can’t say much about the other items we ate, except that we couldn’t even finish the “White Fish Dumplings” because they were drenched in an overly sweet sauce and the filling was really lumpy. But on the other hand, the teeny tiny plate of “Filet Mignon Summer Rolls” was actually pretty good – they had a very “light” taste and I enjoyed the miso espuma layered on top. But at $32 for three miniscule items, two of which we really couldn’t even finish, I did not feel in any way fulfilled or happy about the experience there.  Plus, the service was dismal.

However, I should point out that my disapproval of the food in no way presupposes that I just don’t understand.  Because I DO understand, I DO respect, but I just don’t agree. AnQi is just not my style of restaurant, and the famous garlic noodle’s allure is just not enough to make up for taste & texture.  It’s the same way I feel about Dismal land — the quote un-quote magic of that wretched place just isn’t enough to make me forget my pseudo-Cinderella experiences with its parent company.

Believe me, the fact that I didn’t fall for the famous garlic noodles makes me sadder than you could even imagine.

ANQI
@ South Coast Plaza adjacent to Bloomingdales
3333 Bristol
Costa Mesa, CA 92626
714.557.5679
www.anfamily.com

[shared with anita]

Tagged as: AnQi, Costa Mesa